"more than friends, less than a couple"

"Truth is, I don't even know what are we haha"

"Oh hmm. I guess we're more than friends..less than a couple"

"Oh I guess so"

"I've heard relationships like that in twitter. And  I don't ever want to involve in this couple thingy"

what can i do?

you know how much it hurts when people can't accept for who you are even though you have accepted yourself for who you are? you know much it hurts when people don't appreciate the hard work you've done? you know how much it hurts to be judged when they don't even know anything?

i feel like nothing is worth it. tried my best but still...okay fine, definitely not my best. but at least i tried. 

just like the lyric of holes inside by joe brooks 

"When all that you've tried leaves nothing, but holes inside"

You've tried everything but it feel like there's no positive outcome..it's just tiring

Crying Inside, Smiling Outside

She looked outside the window. The sky was crying and so was her heart. But outside, she just smiled and pretended that nothing was wrong. She may not be good in faking smiles, but this time, she really need to fake her smile. So her parents wouldn't know that she was having too many problems. She didn't want her siblings to know too. So she kept laughing to her siblings' jokes. And again, pretended that nothing was wrong.

All of her negative thoughts were haunting her. Her guilty feeling came again. It was killing her literally. She has always has this fear inside of her. The fear of the past repeating again. She felt like no one deserved her. People would be a lot happier if she never existed. She felt that she was just.....a loser. Pathetic. Worthless. Useless. And all the negative trait she could think of.